Culture as we all know is dependent on the environment we grow
up and the exposure we experiences. Different individuals with different
cultures will react differently to the same situation. I think it is
interesting to observe the how people of different culture response. Sometimes,
their responses can also be a learning lesson for us.
I have a cousin who had migrated over to New Zealand since she
was young. She came back to Singapore last year for vacation and I had to bring
her around for sightseeing. The first time I saw her at the airport, she had
the Caucasian look even though she is a true Chinese. When she greeted me with
a hug, I was actually feeling a little uncomfortable cause I was not close to her
at all. In fact, we had not contacted each other for the past ten years.
This is not the only weird moment I had with her. There was
another occasion when we took the bus back together and the first thing she did
on the bus was to greet the bus driver. It was really nice of her to do that
but it was something out of the norm in Singapore and sure enough everyone on
the bus starred at her.
It makes me wonder whether we Singaporeans are lacking some social
politeness. How many of us will smile or say, “thank you” to the
cashiers/servers in a restaurant? I doubt not many of the Singaporeans will do
that. Personally, I think that we may have the mentality that those in the
service industry are suppose to serve us and we are paying them for the
service. Hence, we may have taken their service for granted and neglected about
the rules of conduct in a society.
What is your opinion about it?
Hi Michelle!
ReplyDeleteGlad that you do share the same sentiments as my post about greetings. It was a pleasure reading this post as it offers a different perspective on a similar observation.
My opinion on why some (not all) Singaporeans lack politeness is because of the mindset we have. We demand service providers to serve us and they are paid to do it. Hence, it is expected of them to serve us well and their pay is the 'reward' for good service.
I believe that it takes two hands to clap. If we are to expect good service, we should be as polite as we can to whoever is serving us. The server would then be influence to serve at his/her best. There is a saying 'Always treat people the way you want to be treated.'
Hey dwayne,
ReplyDeleteYou are right! Even if we are paying for their service, they still deserve our respect . Hence, we should treat whoever is serving us the same way as we treat other strangers.
Michelle
Thanks for sharing this family situation, Michelle. Your example of the "Kiwi cousin" shows exactly how social environment and upbringing affect personal behavior and norms. Dwayne had a similar experience as you regarding the politeness toward bus drivers when he visited Australia. I appreciate your observation and the analysis.
ReplyDeleteThere are a few language issues to take note of. In a review can you find them?
In any case, this is a good post!
Hi Michelle,
ReplyDeleteReading your post made me realize that people must be staring at me all the time; I always great the bus driver while going with public transport and say thank you at least two times while buying food etc. The reason for this is partly my Swedish background, but also that I have worked for example in restaurants before and know how much more fun it is if you meet friendly costumers. Also I gave better service to those who were more polite and social since I thought they deserved it more. Furthermore while learning British English in Swedish school it is really important to add please or thank you to as many sentences as possible, which made me expect that people would use those worlds a lot before going to Singapore.
I think that people that are of the opinion that the only thing they have to give back to someone working in the service sector is to pay the company they are working for do suffer from lack of social politeness. Saying thanks and smile to the waitress don’t cost anything, and makes the working environment much nicer for people in the service sector.
Mikaela
Hi Michelle,
ReplyDeleteI think your post pointed out a very valid point about us Singaporeans. We can be so 'kaypoh' when it comes to certain things but most of the time we choose to stick to ourselves and be as unobvious or attention seeking as possible, so much so that we don't bother to be courteous anymore because its so out of the ordinary for us.
When I was in Brighton, everyone greeted the bus driver and said thank you as well. Maybe that was because each double decker bus only had one door, so you had to pass the bus driver each time you boarded and left the bus, but it was a nice change for me to adopt this practice when I was there. It made me feel happy that people still bother to be polite to each other, and what was even more heartening was that a lot of these commuters sounded like they meant it.
Maybe one day this kind of culture will pick up in Singapore. I have ever encountered bus drivers who greet every commuter who boards the bus with a good morning/good afternoon. If they are polite and friendly to us, I don't see why we shouldn't return this greeting to them! (:
Thanks for your interesting post!